Kull's World

Thanks Yellow Box

Nice apology Herald.  I can honestly say this is maybe the third time since they published that Super Bowl drivel that I have even read an online article in their freakin' tabloid of a paper.  And it will be the last.  Weak apology, with no mention of the wannabe writer that wrote the fake article.  He needs to be fired, suspended, publicly tarred and feathered, or something.

Arod is the Anti-Clutch

Every blog on the internets is talking about this today, so I am not exactly cutting edge here, but I had to jump on the hate train.

While I cannot claim to be better than Arod at hitting a baseball, I can now officially say that I have performed better than him in the delivery room (TWICE actually).  Seems Mr. April, well known for killing post season dreams of Yankee fans, also let his wife down during the birth of their first child.  Which makes it kind of convenient that he showed up 10 minutes late for the birth of his second daughter.

Seriously Alex...do you have any balls?  How did you produce those kids with such a lack of testicular fortitude? 

Useless...

I think I have bitched about this in this space before, but I always enjoy when I find a legitimate news source agreeing with me, PHONE BOOKS CAN SUCK IT!

Seriously, I don't think I need my second hand to count the number of times I have used a phone book in the last ten years.  And one of my last experiences came up empty handed anyway.  I suppose there are still a lot of folks that don't have the internets at their house and they can benefit from the books.  But please is there a list kind of like the "DO NOT CALL" list for Yellow Pages, Super Pages, Yellow Book, etc?  I want to sign up to say I don't want them and help save the earth.  Shit, some dude even wandered into my workplace and managed to find me in my office to sign for my company's books, I said "no way!"

Enough is enough.

Dr. Feelgood

In the past couple days, I have experienced two things that have made me feel very good about myself.

1)  Yesterday, as usual I picked the boys up from daycare, I strolled out of the building as I normally do, carrying Caleb and holding Ben's hand.  I got out to my truck and was strapping Caleb into his seat as Ben was standing by my side holding my leg (that is the rule so I know he is safe).  A young guy wheeled out of his parking spot and shouted "you're the best, you set a good example for Dads like me, an inspiration!" I was taken back a bit, I did not know this guy, not sure if this was the only time he has observed me or if he sees me regularly.  But anyway, it made me feel really good.

2)  Earlier in the week, I FREECYCLE'D three baby related items to a nice woman who was collecting stuff for a friend of hers that was due with her first baby this week.   Family and friends of the Mom to be couldn't afford to buy her a lot of all the required stuff for child rearing, so her friend was on the look out for free stuff.  I was glad to pass it along, as all the items were things that we received from friends or family as well.  But the lady sent me a thank you email as if I had just given her a thousand bucks or something, but it was really nice.

Am I sharing these experiences to toot my own horn?  No, just sharing because it's things like this that keep you going.  I continuously thought of these feel good stories last night when Caleb decided he wanted to cry for no apparent reason from 2-4:30AM!!!

Tales from the Barber Shop

I got my haircut yesterday, I pay a whopping $14 for my trims and I am proud of it.  I guess some might call my style a "boy's regular"...but hey, it is what is is.  Anyway, back to the haircut.  During my lunch break, I decide to go visit my new regular Barber Shop in Belmont.  A couple months ago, one of the nice Muslim dudes in there gave Ben his first "real" haircut, I mean besides that token couple of snips of the scissors at Snip Its.  He got the real deal here, clippers and all.  At that time, I got my hair cut too and was pleasantly surprised by the price, a whopping 5 bucks cheaper then my other place in Watertown.  They don't use the hot shaving cream and straight razor, but I could deal with that if I was gonna save 5 bucks. 

So I sit down in the chair and listen in on the guy in the chair to my left:

Guy: yeah they got me squeezing some ball in my hand to get the strength back, but F them, they can't F'n make me go back to work!!!
(my ears perk up...I know right off the bat this guy will provide me some interesting chatter)

Barber: Oh...what do you mean?

Guy: I'm on WorkMAN'S Comp ya know, I got hurt at work so I am home now cuz I can't F'n work!

Barber: Oh, that's too bad.

Guy: Yeah so now I do whatever the F I want ya know?  I mean, they can't make me go back to F'n in work, F them!  I do whatever the F I want.  I get up when I want, I read the F'n Boston Herald ya know?

Barber:  Really just nodding his head and cutting hair at this point.

Guy:  See the top of my head there eh?  No F'n bald spot!  How you like that?  43 F'n years old and I got it all up there?  You see any gray hairs?  F no!  Ha ha!

Barber: You all set for the holidays/Christmas?

Guy: I F'n hate Christmas!  F it!

Barber: What do you mean?

Guy:  It's not the same anymore, my family is gone.  Anyone that says time heals wounds if full of F'n sh!t!  Seventeen years my parents have been gone and it still f'n hurts.  So you know, the holidays come and it just f'n sucks.  So now I got no one, but you now what?  I do whatever the F I want!  No wife, no girlfriend to answer to, I do whatever the F I want, I live every day like it is my last ya know what I'm f'n saying?  An f'n car could crash right through that window right now and kill us both, you hear what happened at the Dunkin Donuts a couple years ago right?  Some f'n old lady hit the gas when she meant to hit the brake and crashed right into the Dunkin F'n Donuts, and killed some poor f'r!

Barber: snip, snip, snip...

Guy: I quit drinking, can you tell I lost weight?  I lost 25 f'n pounds!  I had to drill new f'n holes in my belt and I gotta buy new pants now, all my other pants are fallin the F off me.  32 inch f'n waist!

Barber:  Ahh, how did you lose the weight?

Guy:  You just gotta watch what you eat.  In the morning, even while I am working I eat POP TARTS (said in the most extreme Boston accent for effect).  But you gotta get the ones without the frosting on them, that's all sugar and no good for you.  But you gotta eat something to get your motor running you know what I'm f'n saying?  But no frosting.  Then you drink a lot of water, like f'n eight 20 oz bottles a day.

Barber: Well, good for you.

Guy:  Hey, you gotta cut it a little shorter right here on the sides!

Barber:  Nah, you don't want that, it is good like that.

Guy:  Just F'n cut it right here, I know what I am f'n talkin about.  I where it greased, like F'n Pat Riley you know?  I asked Jason over there (pointing to my barber) if he knew what I was talking about and he just f'n yepped me, saying he knew who the F Pat Riley was, he don't f'n know what I'm talkin about!

Barber:  Okay, (snip, snip, snip)....there you go.  (holds the mirror up)

Guy:  See look at that on top, full head of hair, no bald spot eh?  F'n right!

Barber:  Alright, you're all set

Guy:  Well, you guys have a good....whatever the F you guys celebrate.  You should just lie and tell me you celebrate Christmas, no Christmas, no f'n 20 dollar tip.  Ha ha ....F yeah!

Barbers:  (uncomfortable chuckles, get out of our shop before we kill you)

Guy:  And no f'n Herald here eh?  It f'n costs 50 cents, get the F'n Herald for your customers eh?  (points at the two other barbers) each of them can kick in a quarter to buy the F'n Herald.

Barber: Okay, we'll see.

Guy:  Now I can go home and pull my pudd for the next 8 hours.  Merry Christmas, F that Happy Holidays it's F'n Christmas!

Barbers: (Speaking Arabic in a very disturbed manner)

Me: (Shaking my head) That guy likes the F word huh?

My Barber:  Yeah...he's a character.

Two minutes later, a disabled elderly gentleman gets dropped off by a van and rolls in the door in his wheelchair.
Barber:  Are you all set for Christmas?
Old Guy:  No Christmas for me!
Barber: Oh no?  What do you celebrate?
Old Guy:  HANUKKAH! (proudly pronouncing it like he was hawking a loogie)

Me:  Geez...good thing that other guy just left!

This Day in History

Four years ago today, I had the nervous sweats in front of 60 friends and family as I said "I do" to Kristin.  Then we all had a REALLY good time celebrating at Treasure Island.

Three years ago today, the Red Sox won two games in one day to start their miraculous comeback from an 0-3 deficit against the Yankees.

Two years ago today, umm....not sure, I probably got Kristin a sappy card and said I love you.

One year ago today, damn...I am not too good at this.  Oh, on or around this time we got a new window for our family room.  Yeah, that was the romantic anniversary celebration for new homeowners!

And today, yep...Sox are down 3-1 to the Indians.  And I still like the Sox chances with Beckett going tonight, sending it back to Fenway.  Maybe the hits start falling today, and the ball starts bouncing the Sox way.

Lucky 13

In case anyone missed it, the local paper in my hometown did a great piece on a friend of ours that I have mentioned in this space before that is battling cancer.  There is a benefit in Leominster on September 14th and a Blood Drive in Fitchburg on September 16th to help him (or others) find a match for a stem cell transplant.  Spread the word.

NO FEAR FT!

Hey Mattel:

News flash for you, lead paint is bad.  It's been known for a very long time that lead paint is bad, wake up will ya?  Thank god this recall isn't on the Cars die cast cars that Ben is obsessed with right now.

Update:  Whoops, check that...I guess this recall does potentially affect some of the Cars Ben is obsessed with, and likes to put in his mouth.  Like the Sarge he is gnawing on in this photo.

Another Update: Yes the Sarge in my first born's mouth does in deed contain lead paint.  Thanks Mattel.

	Pixar Cars Sarge Lead Paint Hazard Recall Your product is affected by this recall program. Please remove this toy from the hands of children, immediately.

Hokie Thoughts...

Yet another "where were you when you heard about it?" moment in American History.  Haven't there just been too many of these freakin moments in recent years?  Prior to 9/11/01, as far as I can remember the last one was the Challenger exploding when I was in the 6th grade.  But now, it seems to be one per year.  This Virginia Tech thing just sucks in so many ways, such a horrible event.  And the more that comes out about this killer, the more it sucks.  Before this happened I just looked at Va Tech as a school with a stupid ass mascot that I "hated" because my favorite team had a spirited rivalry with them.  But now they will always be known as "the school that had 33 people killed in 2007".  It will always be there.  High school kids on the west coast will go to a College Fair and see the Va Tech table and that will come to mind.  It will be mentioned at every athletic event for some time.  And why?  Because one kid had a lot of problems and didn't get the help he obviously needed.

Anyway, thoughts and prayers go out to Blacksburg, Virginia and to all those affected by this senseless tragedy.

Okay...I will ask

What's up with Tom Brady's sperm?

Does he just walk by chicks and get them pregnant?

He is already being called the next K-Fed for his baby making prowess.  Thankfully he has much more talent than the former Mr. Spears.  But man, talk about a double whammy on his once perfect image.