Mark Twain once called the game of golf " a good walk spoiled" Yeah that's right, I just quoted Mark Twain on Kull's World. If anyone thought I'd ever do that, well I don't know but its just not too common in this space. Anyway, so the other day I got out to play golf, for only the 3rd time this year. The first opportunity to play an entire 18 holes of stroke play at that, the other two times were a scramble and a 9 hole round.
So I ventured down to Plymouth and Waverly Oaks Golf Club to play 18 with another safety geek. We both had rainchecks from a tournament that got rained on last fall, so I essentially played for ten bucks with the weekday afternoon discount minus the rainchecks, etc. Not a bad deal. As I was situating myself at my golf bag sporting a light blue golf shirt (very close to STAFF color), another golfer approached me and informed me "these two are going together" as he plopped his bags down next to me. The way my round started, I might have been better off following that lead and working to earn a few bucks in tips that day cleaning clubs. But anyway...off to the tee box!
First hole is a downhill Par 4, 301 yards from the Green Tees. We watch Vinny and Bob hit their typical old man style shots 150 yards down the fairway. Then I step up to the tee with my Big Dog in hand, and proceed to slice one just into the rough/hay/woods/rocks/hill...just about the same distance the old timers put theirs. Nice. So I find my ball, I guess it was still in bounds up on a hill with some bark and rocks around it. I clear a space to hit it (carefully so as to not move the ball!) grab a 7 iron to just get it back on the fairway. Little did I know I would actually pick it clean and hit a very strong 7 iron and proceed to put the ball over the fairway and onto the driving range. So, I take my penalty stroke and a drop, hit my 9 iron a tad fat and wind up still short of the green by 15 yards. I take out my trusty 7 iron again for a little bump and run onto....and off the back edge of the green. So now I am staring at a 35 foot putt off the fringe, left to right and downhill. Not even taking my glove off or attempting to read the green, I take a swipe at it....and drain it! FOR A DOUBLE BOGEY! Nice start Kull. Way to go.
And we proceed...2nd hole I card an 8 on a 377 yard Par 4, same story. Right rough off the tee, a few duffs in the fairway, but no long putt. I think I did manage a 2 putt on this one though. But the pilot had officially turned on the FASTEN SEAT BELT SIGN. 3rd hole is a Par 3, 152 yards into a stiff wind. I generally hit my irons much softer from the tee box, so I take out a 6 iron and proceed to hit it a perfect distance....but 40 yards, you guessed it, to the right...under a tree. Thinking I would never find it I say to my partner "I may just caddy for you the rest of the day" He just laughs and helps me find my ball. He finds it, I walk up to it and whack it with the pitching wedge, failing to set up and think about it for fear of "THE FLARE", when due to some major psychological blockage, I get afraid of hitting the ball anywhere within 50 yards of the green and don't follow through, therefore flaring the ball off to the right. So, it flies the green, I chip back on...it rolls off the green, 2 putt from there for another double bogey 5...through 3 holes I am 8 over par. Stellar!
I rack up another 8 on the Par 5 - 4th hole, and double bogey on the Par 5 - 5th hole...13 over par.
Somehow on the 6th hole, after a lot of soul searching through the first 5 holes and a frustrating work related Nextel call, I "pure my drive" on the 391 yard Par 4 right down the center. The sun does shine on a dog's ass once a day!!! I hit a 9 iron to the back of the green and 2 putt from there - PAR! The last 3 holes on the front 9 I go double, par, and bogey...not a bad finish. 52 for the front ain't half bad considering how I started, it was my first true round this year, only been to the driving range once, it was a tough course, etc. Of course my partner shot a 39 which made me feel great!
The back 9 continued to be enjoyable. It went a little something like this...
Bogey
Par
Par
Bogey
Par
Bogey
Bogey
Double Bogey
Double Bogey
44 for the Back 9, my partner matched that score. He was pissed, I was happy as a clam.
All in all, it was a great day. Early on, when I wasn't playing well and flat out playing poorly. I never got pissed like I used to, never threw a club or kicked the cart, etc. My highest level of frustration was telling my partner I was gonna caddy for him instead of playing. But that was only because I realized if you don't get out and practice a lot, you just can't do the things you want to. Last year I played a lot of golf and got my score into the mid 80's on two occasions, but was more consistently in the low 90's (yes Smitty counting all my strokes too!) So I was mostly just frustrated that all the progress you make in one season disappears over the winter and into the next year with lack of play. But on that 6th hole I finally realized being where I was, it was a helluva lot better than being at work. And if I was away from my wife & son and was missing them, I better damn well enjoy myself! So I did just that, made a swing adjustment that only took 5 holes to figure out, started hitting my tee shots straight and had some fun. Could have been more fun if I had sunk the 2-3 birdie putt chances I had, but the pars were good too.
And at the end of the day...the RIDE wasn't spoiled!
But if anyone has tips or pointers to eliminate "THE FLARE" please share them. This year, I won't be playing enough to justify paying $100 an hour to have this lady hypnotize it out of me!
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